Thursday, 14 July 2011

Let Go

People who don’t call you, the t-shirt from the ex, the insecurities about the way you dance, or sing, the shoes you’ve had in your closet for 6 years and are so raggedy but they still fit, that nagging feeling you’ll die alone.

That one time somebody called you ugly, that one time you got dumped, that 10th time you got dumped, feeling bad in a bathing suit, the takeout still in your fridge.

Your fear of flying, your fear of never traveling, your fear of being the one who makes the first move, your fear of failure, your fear of monsters under the bed, having to wear makeup every time you leave the house, feeling bad about not shaving your legs even though it’s summer.

Being so negative, feeling like you shouldn’t feel optimistic about things, the odd way you think your thighs and nose look, and being worried about how your hair frames your face, 86% of your doubt.

The bad friend, having to go to the movies with somebody and not alone, staying home on a Friday, going out and feeling like you’d rather be home, feeling alone, pretending like you always WANT to be alone, getting caught in the rain without an umbrella, saying cheesy things about the rain.

Being worried you’re being too honest, being worried about being rejected, being worried about ordering dessert, being sad that your love life is kind of boring, constantly putting yourself down before somebody else does, being afraid of being disappointed, holding yourself back.

Feeling bad about being clumsy, feeling bad your nails are always chipped, bad habits you cling onto, feeling guilty about thinking too much about the past, getting nervous about how you can’t quite grow up just yet, most of your guilt, feeling terrible about the things you haven’t done yet, comparing yourself to people you aren’t, comparing others to the people they are not, that one or two or thirty people you know you should.

Balloons.

C’mon, do it.

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